North Columbus Friends Meeting (Quakers)

All are welcome.

Harassment Policy

If you have any questions or would like to speak with someone regarding possible harassment at North Columbus Friends, please email the clerk of the Harassment Response and Safeguarding Committee. <edmiston.1@osu.edu>

Friends General Conference, in keeping with Friends’ historical concerns for equality and justice, is committed to providing environments for staff, volunteers, committee members, and program participants which are free of discrimination and harassment. Demeaning actions, words, jokes or comments based on an individual’s gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, age or faith will not be tolerated. We also note that sexual harassment, both overt and subtle, is an illegal form of demeaning and oppressive misconduct which we want to prevent and which, if alleged, we will investigate thoroughly and fairly.

Friends General Conference, Central Committee, October 22, 1995

In spite of some Quakers’ participation in the abolition movement to end enslavement in the United States; in spite of some Quakers’ commitment to dismantling Jim Crow during the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960’s; in spite of some Quakers’ visible work to support the Black Lives Matter movement and in spite of all of us feeling horrified when yet another unarmed black or brown person is shot by police, our Meetings remain mostly white and Friends of Color do not necessarily feel safe or welcomed in a Quaker faith community. 

Institutional Assessment on Systemic Racism within Friends General Conference, October 2018

We gratefully acknowledge the work of Lake Erie Yearly Meeting (LEYM) who created (and approved on July 27, 2019) the original policy on which the following policy is based. The two quotes above are from LEYM’s policy.

Introduction

North Columbus Friends Meeting (NCFM) wants to make its Meetings for Worship, business and   committee meetings, and all other gatherings free of harassment.  We address this topic with the intent of nurturing the spiritual health of our community which sometimes may include work on acknowledging boundaries and repairing relationships. As a faith community we are responsible for making sure our community is safe and welcoming which includes identifying unacceptable behavior.

We trust in our commitment to discernment and faithfulness to seeing that of God in each other.

This policy addresses a number of forms of harassment, described below. We recognize that harassment does occur at Friends’ gatherings and within Friends’ communities, and it is our shared belief that we need to prevent and respond to such behavior.  

This policy also describes:

Harassment

Harassment is unwanted behavior generally involving the exercise of formal or informal power by one person over another.  It is a form of misconduct that undermines the integrity of the relationship and may be demeaning. 

Within the context of North Columbus Friends Meeting, all forms of harassment are prohibited regardless of legality.

Harassment may be based on characteristics such as sex, race, age, disability, political views, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or gender expression or identity.  While this list includes several characteristics that we are aware often form the basis for harassment, the policy is intended to be broadly interpreted to include any harassment or any behavior that becomes harassment.     

Sexual harassment is one of the specific types of harassment.  It may be verbal (suggestive comments, threats, insults, jokes, sexual propositions), nonverbal (suggestive, insulting or obscene gestures, noises, leering, displaying pornographic material), or physical (touching, grabbing, hugging, brushing against a person’s body, coercive sexual touching, intercourse, or assault).  Sexual harassment is illegal and strictly prohibited within NCFM.  

When addressing allegations of harassment, we consider both the feelings of the person who experiences it and the intentions of the person perceived as having harassed. However, what one person might consider an innocent comment or behavior could actually be experienced as harassment by another person, particularly if the behavior persists after the implications have been brought to his, her, or their attention.

Acceptable behavior

The basis of acceptable behavior in our spiritual community is mutual respect and caring.  This arises from our testimonies of community, equality, and integrity.

Using the case of sexual harassment as an example, does this mean that we must refrain from offering hugs to friends, or making comments about a friend’s appearance? No—not if the person welcomes the hug or the comment. But we should be sensitive to the possibility that another might be made uncomfortable by such behavior. Unless physical touch is already an established practice between particular Friends, then ask first (e.g., “May I give you a hug?”). This is simply part of our responsibility as members of a caring community of Friends who approach all other people with a spirit of equality. We want Friends to feel secure in the understanding that in our community

What to do if you feel harassed or if you witness possible harassment

1. If you feel harassed by the comments or behavior of another person at an NCFM gathering, and if you feel able, you can name the behavior, tell that person clearly that you find their behavior upsetting to you or objectionable, and ask them to stop it. You may also wish to seek support in the moment from another Friend. Of course, there are situations in which it is difficult to confront such behavior on the spot. 

2. Reporting incidents of harassment: NCFM has established a Harassment Response Committee (“HRC”) to respond to verbal or written reports of harassment in a timely, confidential and empathic manner so that anyone bringing a harassment complaint will feel comfortable (more information about the HRC is below).  If you feel unable to confront the person, or find that they repeat the objectionable behavior despite your request to stop it, you may approach this committee with your concern. Note that you may choose to pursue either an informal or a formal procedure for dealing with the situation.

3. If you witness or are told about a situation involving possible harassment: Try to check in with the person who appears to be experiencing the harassment. If they feel uncomfortable about the behavior, encourage them to confront it or report it. If it seems impossible to talk with the person, or if the person is not prepared to make a report themselves, yet you are concerned that harassment probably has occurred, then a report may be made directly to the HRC.

What to do if someone objects to your behavior

1. If someone tells you that they have felt offended or embarrassed or unsettled by something you did, we understand how easy it is to feel defensive in such a moment.

Rather than staying in defensive mode, here are some things to try:

Please refrain from: questioning the other person’s feelings; telling them how they should feel; or explaining how you intended your behavior.

2. Consider an informal and confidential discussion with the HRC or with the Ministry & Nurture Committee to discern your way through feedback about objectionable behavior.  Receiving feedback that you have engaged in behavior others have found offensive, embarrassing, or even threatening, can be difficult. You may want an opportunity to discuss the experience with supportive Friends to discern ways in which you may have been unaware of your privilege or power in a given social context, or to discern ways to behave differently in future situations.  

Who is the Harassment Response Committee (HRC)?

  1. General:
    • The HRC is comprised of up to five people of as diverse representation as possible (male, female, LGBTQIA+, persons of color, younger, older, etc.). Diversity is crucial to this process, so that a person bringing a harassment complaint is more likely to feel both represented and able to trust members of the committee.
    • Desired qualities and skills of committee members include compassion, curiosity, reflective listening, facilitation, self-regulation, maintaining confidentiality, and holding space for divergent views.
  2. Training
    • HRC members will all receive appropriate training (both practical and relevant to our practices as Friends), which may include:
    • When to refer someone for professional or legal help
    • Awareness of implicit bias
    • Discernment (example: Jerry Knutson’s work)
    • Active listening (example: work done by Merry Sanford and Peter Wood)
    • Resources about the complexity of responding to harassment are listed in Appendix 2.
    • The Meeting will provide funding for training, if needed.
  3. Membership, terms, oversight, and visibility
    • The HRC falls under the care of the Ministry & Nurture Committee (M&N). As such, the HRC may meet with the Ministry & Nurture Committee for support and counsel. The Clerk of the Ministry & Nurture Committee serves as Clerk of the HRC. Up to two additional M&N Committee members may also serve on the HRC. Members of M&N will proactively recruit the remaining positions. These positions will be named by M&N concurrent with NCFM’s annual committee nominating process.  HRC committee members will serve for two years, and may be asked if they wish to serve in subsequent years beyond their original term. 
    • HRC members will be identified in NCFM’s List of Officers, Committees, and Roles. A copy of this policy will be posted in visible areas within the Meetinghouse and on-line. You may approach or contact any member of this committee with any of your concerns.  
  4. How the committee will operate
    • At least two members of the HRC will respond to requests for consultation. Every effort will be made to include specific HRC members if specific HRC members are requested by the person seeking consultation. Otherwise, composition of the responders will be made with respect to diversity and availability. 
    • Once the responders for a particular complaint have been identified, this sub-group will name one of their members to be the Convener/Recorder for the duration of the group’s work.
    • At a minimum all members of the Harassment Response Committee will meet once per year in January to review and refresh their familiarity with this policy and with additional content as may be appropriate.  The HRC will consider at that time what other support or training, if any, they deem beneficial for their objective. The HRC may request funding from Meeting For Business as appropriate.

Ideal outcomes

An ideal outcome would be one where the person perceived as having harassed has been helped to accept and understand the outcome of her, his, or their behavior, and has stopped it, and the person who has been harassed no longer feels demeaned, threatened, etc. Ideally, the parties have explored together how they might reconcile and repair their relationship. Ideally, all parties have noticed the presence of the divine, and were able to look for that of God in each other. Ideally, the process has fostered healing, both personally and communally, and all involved are at peace in the NCFM community.  

What NCFM’S Harassment Response Committee will do in response to a reported incident

A. Options

1. Informal procedure: If you feel embarrassed or offended or unsettled by another person’s behavior, you may simply want an opportunity to discuss the experience with another Friend and discern together about how to handle it. If so, a member of the HRC will meet with you for a confidential discussion of the incident(s). You are welcome to bring a support person with you during this conversation.  If this discussion is sufficiently helpful, and the objectionable behavior has stopped or otherwise can be avoided, the HRC will consider your concern to have reached closure. No further steps will be taken unless the committee determines that the nature of the complaint is serious enough to warrant further action, such as a formal procedure.

In tending to the well-being of the entire community, the HRC reserves the right, in consultation with the person bringing the complaint, to independently initiate a formal procedure on behalf of the community.  In this event, the persons directly involved will be notified of such a decision.

2. Formal procedure: If you wish more formal assistance in dealing with the alleged harassment than that afforded by the informal procedure, please submit a written complaint under your name. (If an anonymous complaint is received by the HRC, the HRC and M&N will discern whether or not and/or how to proceed.)

A written complaint may be brief, but it should include name(s) and a description of the objectionable behavior, the context, and your feelings. When such a complaint is received, at least two members of the HRC will meet with you in confidence, discuss the alleged harassment with you, and then investigate the circumstances of the complaint. As in informal procedures, a support person is welcome.  

It is expected that such an investigation will include, but not necessarily be limited to, a meeting of HRC’s responders with the person perceived as having harassed. The formal procedure contains no assumption that the HRC will seek to have a joint meeting with the various parties. 

The members of the committee will discern how best to respond to the situation in creation of a proposed action plan.  The HRC may consider in their recommendation the following possible actions including, but not limited to:

  1. Identifying offending behaviors and encouraging the responsible party or parties to stop;
  2. Encouraging participants to distance from one another;
  3. Engaging in a restorative circle/conversation, if the persons involved agree;
  4. Referring parties to external professionals for support;
  5. Requiring the person perceived as having harassed to refrain from attending a specific gathering; 
  6. Refusing to accept this person at future gatherings.

The HRC will communicate its findings and proposed action plan to M&N for discernment that the plan is right ordered. The agreed upon plan would then be communicated by HRC to the person who submitted the formal complaint and to the person(s) perceived as having harassed. After the action plan has been communicated to all directly involved parties, anyone may ask to meet with M&N and HRC for further discernment.

There may be circumstances where there isn’t time for the full formal procedure to be followed, and yet persons may perceive a need to take some relevant action while a gathering is in process or in advance of an imminent gathering.  This policy cannot anticipate how such work might be done by those present, but this policy allows for such work to be done. Follow-up afterward with the HRC and M&N is required.

B. Notes

What to do if you are a support person

A person who has experienced harassment (or the person who has been perceived as having harassed) may need to share the distress with someone in whom she, he, or they has confidence and respect. If you are chosen, remember that however inadequate you feel, the other person trusts and respects you enough to share a matter of concern with you. 

The most important gift you can offer is time – time for listening in a supportive and non-judgmental way, allowing space and silence for reflection. They may not need or want advice, and you should only offer this if asked. As a support person, if the person you are talking with has not considered approaching the HRC, you can remind them of the HRC as a resource.

As a support person you may be asked to accompany the person to meetings with the HRC.

Procedural Notes

  1. Recordkeeping
    • Documentation to be retained by the HRC:
      • Original written complaint
      • Description of process followed
      • Summary of the outcome
      • Note: The Convener/Recorder of the HRC’s response to a complaint will initiate the record retention process at an appropriate time. 
    • Record retention:
      • Documentation will be retained in electronic format
      • Documentation will be stored by the HRC Convener/Recorder as a password-protected Word document
      • A naming convention will be used to facilitate record location and destruction. The file should be named as follows: “HRC report YYYY-MM-DD”
      • Storage will be on the Meeting’s Google Drive in a folder normally accessible only by the Meeting’s Clerk and Assistant/Past Clerk
      • Other than the HRC Convener/Recorder, passwords will be known only to the Meeting’s Clerk and Assistant/Past Clerk
    • Record destruction:
      • HRC members will delete records (e.g. emails) from their personal devices that were written during the process.  Such deletion will be done at the direction of the Convener/Recorder for the response to this complaint, concurrent with the submission of the formal report from the HRC to the Clerk.
      • The Meeting’s retained file for a given incident will be destroyed after 10 years by the Meeting’s Clerk
    • Note: It is recommended that HRC and M&N Committee members segregate relevant, related correspondence throughout the process to facilitate confidentiality and planned deletion.
  2. Process documentation
    • The committee will follow the procedures as outlined in the Procedures Checklist that begins on the next page and document the activity related to the complaint in a manner that addresses the important activities of the HRC.

Revision: June 1, 2021